Previously I’ve shared a before and after case study of a sales page, and this time we’re going to look at web copy that I worked on with a coaching client.

Vince Bakshani is the CEO of Manager Insights, and the creator of Searchbook, an impressive new product for the investment industry. (We’ve already seen you can learn some unusual content marketing tips from investment advisers).

But this product even made me wonder if it could spell the beginning of the end for copywriters…

What is Searchbook?

Searchbook is a tool that creates automated content for investment products.

If you’re new to any of this don’t worry, the tool is actually very simple.

In a nutshell, companies and individuals who manage assets / investments constantly have to trawl through hefty volumes of data to find out which products are good investments.

Each summary can take an analyst up to 2 – 2 1/2 hours.

Vince’s product creates a summary, in plain English, within minutes.

Without an analyst or a writer

This type of content is known as “automated content.” There are other companies out there creating automated content, but Searchbook is the first product to focus solely on the investment management industry.

Needless to say, this is a very exciting, and valuable product to his target market so I was thrilled when Vince signed up for a laser copywriting coaching session to add snap to 3 pages of his web copy.

The end result is a great example of B2B copywriting that explains clearly what the product does, why it’s special, and with proof to reinforce the promise.

I’ll highlight a few before and after areas from the home page, and then I encourage you to check out his site for some B2B copywriting inspiration.

The headline

Before

If you’re overwhelmed by the number of investment products or having difficulty differentiating one product from the next, it doesn’t mean you have to work longer hours or find more resources.

 It might just mean you need to automate some of the analysis.

This headline is working to identify a problem and a specific audience, and suggesting a solution. These are all key components of a strong headline.

But because of the marketing Vince was already doing, by the time his target reached his website, they would already be familiar with the problem Searchbook could solve.

What they really want to know was… what is it and why is it so special?

After

Because prospects would be warm to the company and product, Vince chose the biggest benefit of his offer to open his homepage with a bang.

The subheading

Before

With Searchbook, you’ll be able to analyze thousands of investment products within minutes, increase your product knowledge, and have more meaningful dialogues with clients and prospects. 

Which means you’ll feel confident, focused, and in control of your business.

The original subheading expanded on the headline’s introduction. But because Vince changed the copy to a more direct opening, he could now create a new subheading which emphasised the benefits of Searchbook:

After

With the new subheading, Vince justifies the promise in the headline by explaining HOW his BIG promise is possible.

He also includes the additional benefit of the summaries being written in plain English.

Home page body copy

Before

In the original, the body copy comprised the headline and the subheading. During our coaching session, Vince decided to create additional content for the home page so that visitors would have a clear understanding about what he had to offer, who it was for, and why they should be interested in it.

After

Here Vince uses copywriting to explain why the solution is now possible: automated content is at a stage where the writing is indistinguishable from human writers. It also delivers the company’s USP, which is that it is the only product designed for the investment industry.

Finally, it identifies the audience clearly and specifically, not just by their titles, but by their wants and needs also.

Also included on the home page was an introductory video, a sample report and high-level benefits to catch the reader’s eye.

If you’d like to find out how copywriting coaching can help you whip your copy into shape (without the expense of hiring a copywriter outright) click here to find out more about the coaching options I offer