Since deciding on a final date last Friday I’d be lying if I said doubt hasn’t crept in. As pointed out by my friend – there’s a credit crunch happening and as my boyfriend’s mum queried “Doesn’t she have a good job?” There’s certainly a lot to be said for financial stability in uncertain times but I’m no longer convinced that a job guarantees any such security, unless you’re employed by the Government perhaps, which I’m not. I’m dependant on other people to run a profitable company to see that I get my wage. To me that seems less secure than if it’s up to me to go out and get my wage. Granted I know only a little about running your own business and I’m not even sure of what it is I want to do after I leave, but I just think I need to at least try and do it myself.
I have been organising old photos and ticket stubs for my scrapbooks – I am about 3 years behind though everything is still hoarded and ready to be put together in my illustrative medium of recording my life. I came across my “10 month plan” which I had composed March 2006, 2 and a half years ago at 23. This would have been when I first moved down here. It’s interesting to note that the same dreams I am having now I had then which gives me some confidence that I am at least consistent. The main ones are:
- Sing regularly
- Improve Spanish
- Brainstorm ideas for your own company
- Try and get your dissertation published
- Submit your short story to be published
- Join a script reading / writing group
- Begin developing an idea for a series
- Dance
- Brainstorm ideas for a self help book for women
Despite these being dreams and goals, before, they were an arduous list to be fitted in around work, snatching 40 minutes here and there with a cup of tea and not knowing where to start. Now I hopefully have time to make this work.
There will also be new ones to add:
- Have your own website
- Have a blog
- Do more Pilates (just to make use of the giant rubber band I received for my birthday – and to improve my hip for running – there’s nothing wrong with it but you never know)
- Travel as part of your work
Just writing these excites me. I know it won’t always be like this, and I’m going to face a lot of rejection and uncertainty and difficulties, but that’s just life, and as Bill hicks told me – life is just a ride.
In essence – I am happy and positive, let’s see how long it lasts before my cynicism (caged for the moment in the beauty I’m seeing in the world) breaks free.
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